Her illness has become more ingrained. She has been in the buttocks bar ring for 48 hrs. I shot her arms out of play by shackling them to the rear of the buttocks ring. Her ankles are shackled together, thus, her wrists can manage her small equilibrium. She is pushed into a crunch position and her just mobility is waddling on her buttocks. I’m thrilled that the tracking system is completely implemented; today I can watch her from anyplace. This is insufferable! My ass and back are always aching. How long have I been like that? I fear if I attempt to recline I will fall over and be unable to sit again. I have shown no complaint or resistance to his own machinations — I dare not. I believe this strategy is working as he’s not threatened me. He lavishly likes the perversity of this bondage and how he amuses me. It arouses my thoughts. I’m completely dependent upon him. My solitude has turned my mind to only him I look forward to his return, although this thought is abhorrent!I am famished and thirsty — clearly, this is deliberate, if I needed to register some point for this madness I suspect he wants to control me at a more complicated way; something beyond power, coercion and gender. He clearly is maniacal and extremely organized in in the methods he uses to terrorize me. This infernal bar he’s secured on my head extends to the rear of my tongue and has started to rust out of my saliva. The taste of iron is the only thing that wets my palate. The drooling is constant — I am quite thirsty I tip my head back and try to swallow it. This discharge isn’t the worst though. Desperate to relieve myself I wiggled around to the iron barbecue he’s chained me to and expelled a shit throughout the grate. I piss on the flooring planks. While it’s a torturous effort I discovered I can roll up my back and then my negative. This has to be placed carefully for I can then use my tongue to lick the stink.
